you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
