Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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