Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
