Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
