I bet he comes in French.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
