The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
