VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
one might say we're banned from that church
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
