fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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