I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
