So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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