once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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