Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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