Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
