It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
