I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
