I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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