I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
