Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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