Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
