I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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