last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
