oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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