We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize