I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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