Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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