Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
