My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
