Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want her autograph on my taint
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
