ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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