I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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