what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
