oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize