we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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