Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
