hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
