ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
