I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
