omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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