She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
