if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
