i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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