I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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