no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
