Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
