therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
