the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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