I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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