ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Mom said you looked used
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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