I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize