Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
