Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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