If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize