May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
