4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
