wanna go halves on a baby?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
