I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
