Your dad touched me again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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