I'm jealous of your bromance
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and she was petting her beer can
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
