Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
