His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
