you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
