this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
